Before & After tricksters!

Like many of us, following fitness account on social media can be (or so you think), motivating. Inspirational even. I’m guilty of stalking the best of them – and will continue to do so!

Now before I go on, I just want to note that I am by no means, undoing any hard work that I know MANY of these women put into their daily regime where their health and fitness is concerned, as it very clearly shows in their unfiltered, perfectly toned, perfectly defined and perfectly lit photos, that they have in fact, worked their butts off for the temple they call a body. For these women out there, I salute you. 

However…

After a lot of scrolling, and oggling, and to put it bluntly, stalking… I’ve come to the following conclusion. A lot of these “before and after” photos aren’t always genuine (some are, of course! But not all!). I’m talking mainly about ones where a product is being promoted – whether it’s beauty products or health supplements that prevent, I don’t know, bloating for instance… there’s a way you too, could create an apparent before and after shot. Believe me, after feeling super frustrated by these images we are faced with, I have realised the clear rules for creating such a picture – and with that, I do care to share. Here are few tips for the perfect before shot:

 Before Shot Rules:

  1. Lighting – make sure the lighting is dull, grey, and pretty much giving off the feeling of misery.

  2. Expression – for fitness, look miserable. Unhappy and ashamed. Oh and pale, always be pale. For beauty – SAY CHEESE! Smile the biggest, wrinkle creating smile you possibly can because you can pretty much guarantee the end result will be “Look, no more wrinkles” – while said model barely lifts the corner of her mouth in her “after” shot.

  3. Posture – round shoulders, hips rolled under, gut out, legs apart. Don’t even try to pose.

  4. Clobber – you know those big “monthly” knickers you shove to the back of your drawer during the happier times of the month, and that greying, shapeless bra that’s lost any amount of lift you could ever have wished for… yeah, those. Grab those badboys!

And voila! You have yourself a pitiful “before” shot. Well done… Now, onto the “after”.

 After Shot Rules:

  1. Lighting – Think bright glistening light, lots of colour, and use the best freakin’ filter on offer! They’re there for a reason after all – and if you can wangle a natural tan, then you’re onto a winner! Golden tan’s are always flattering (if they’re natural people, NATURAL!).

  2. Expression – SMILE!!!! Oh aren’t you just like, so happy now?! Seriously, you couldn’t be buzzin’ more about life if you tried. Your two rags to riches story is here, it’s happening!

    “I made it! I’d just like to thank the sun for my glowing tan and my phone for the filter. Together, we did this!”

  3. Posture – Now this is where your new found body comes to life! Shoulders back, bloater sucked in, lean forward, butt out. Don’t worry about standing square onto the camera… POSE! Hands on hips, bend one leg, turn your body, flick your hair like you don’t care, I mean, the options are endless! Now is your time to shine damn it!
  4. Clobber – Ah yes, this is where the most flattering of outfits come into play. No more discoloured baggy pants. I’m talking itsy bitsy shorts that suck, shape and lift that behind. high leg knickers that give Kendell Jenner’s legs a run for their money. Whip out that Calvin Klein set, that on a normal day would pinch you at the sides giving you the ultimate mini muffin… But NOT TODAY! Today you are an aspiring model in the making! All sucked in and cleverly poised – all for that second long “CLICK”.

So you see? No? Me neither… I’ve literally no idea where I was going with this. I guess I was just ranting. About no one in particular. Just on occasion I come across these things, and feel the need to say…

I’ve got your number luv! 

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