I’ve had a funny ‘ol weekend.
Mr Snacks has been ill. Bless him. Admittedly I mocked him a little because, well, I never get ill. Rarely do you hear me hocking it up or looking drained of colour with eyes the size of p*ss holes. But I got my just deserts didn’t I. Karma really is a b*tch. I reckon she needs to have a little word with herself… when’s it her turn? Surely it will have to happen soon. She does seem to ruin a LOT of peoples days, years, lives!?
Anyhoo, back to me. I’m dying. Not literally, no. But I’ve been a miserable mess of snot, phlegm, and ringing ears. I want to peel my face off and get a new one. Ooh, maybe I could fix a few things while I’m at it… *Opens Google search*
I’m not really a bad patient. I like to think I keep my sense of humour – despite sometimes pining for a little attention from the Mr (this is completely normal btw. I don’t actually have to be ill for this). But this weekend it turned me. It became inconvenient. It interrupted my work, my catching up with friends, and giving the Mr a good reason to say “Oh you poor thing, probably best you don’t snuffle, snuggle, drape yourself all over, or anything similar to… me.”
I’ve hidden away at home for what feels like FOREVER (a couple of days). When will this torment END!? SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!!!
OK actually, truth be told, I did enjoy a cheeky glass of wine last night – I live by the theory that it will help burn out the germs. Needless to say, I feel a fraction better today. Whether that’s the red stuff (which I’m more than sure it is), or the fact I’m another day down and the germs are giving up their battle to live on my sorry self. Well move out! BE MY GUEST! If my hosting isn’t up to your germ infested standards, then who am I to complain?
Oh and PS: How does one “cough quietly” because apparently, and I quote, I’m “SO LOUD”. Please, feel free to leave your thoughts below. I’ve so far resorted to smothering ones face with a pillow, duvet, blanket when one feels the need to partake in a coughing fit – just to keep the volume down for apparent sensitive ears. Well forgive me, but I’m trying to stay alive over here – in case you can’t see… or HEAR!